Together on the Journey: A Weekly Blog from Fr. Andrew Sheldon
I have long struggled with the notion that a church is a family. Now, I know that the metaphor of family is often the default position when we talk of our relationship with God and with each other. God our father, Jesus our brother, and each other as siblings. And to the extent this conjures up warm and comforting feelings for us, then fine. But this is not always the case. Blood may be thicker than water but sometimes the blood is all over the floor. For many, God as parent, Jesus as brother, and the rest of us as siblings is not a source of support, love, and comfort. For many, family is the source of pain, estrangement, and abuse, and so to speak of St George’s as a family may not be a welcoming message.
Which is why I much prefer the metaphor of friendship to describe our life together.
On the night before he died, this is what Jesus offered his disciples: “I call you friends”. Not allegiance, not a set of rules. Not techniques, not a set of propositions to assent to. And not brothers and sisters. Friendship. Which leads me to another indicator of a healthy church:
People come early and stay late because they genuinely want to spend time together. At church they find friends.
In the first place, it is important to note that this is a unique kind of friendship. It is not necessarily the same as those friendships we cultivate over our lifetime and include people from the various spheres of our lives. Our liturgies, in some places, include the phrase: “Dear friends in Christ.” We are friends in Christ because we are friends of Christ. Just as he did with those earliest followers, he does so with us: “I call you friends”.
And so, my friends, I first of all want to commend you because St George’s truly is a friendly church. I have experienced your genuine warmth and acceptance, and I see you treating one another with grace and affection. It is truly the case that you find joy in spending time together, and you do that both in the building and out.
But there is a ‘but’; or perhaps I should say that there is an ‘and’. You are friends, you genuinely want to spend time together and guests are noticed, greeted and included.
The potential problem with being a friendly church is that this friendship is extended inward and is inclusive only of the select few with whom we have a history. These friendships are to be honoured, but to be friends in Christ, and of Christ, is also to be aware of the strangers and guests who walk through our doors. To be friends in Christ, and of Christ, is to be prepared to extend our individual and collective friendship to them as well. This is true Christian hospitality. And this hospitality is one in which visitors experience welcome, aid, and comfort, thus making wider the circle of the church community to include those who are different from us.
This is a difficult balance to find; to delight in our church friends and to be prepared to extend that circle of friends. If St George’s can find that balance, we will not just be a friendly church, or a healthy church, but an exceptional church!
Andrew +